Online dating communities seem to grow each day as people look for their soulmate in the greater world of the Internet. They are a tool to bring people together, but they also imply a different type of interaction that doesn’t follow the same guidelines as meeting and dating people face to face. The following online dating tips for women and men can help you sift through the worthiness of the process and increase your chances of succeeding.
5 Online dating tips for women
Women are essentially different from men when it comes to dating. Thus, even if both genders face similar situations, the expectations and reactions can be quite different between the two.
Manage your expectations
This is important if you don’t want to be disappointed or left feeling deceived when you meet your potential partner and realize he doesn’t look like his pictures.
But this is not the only instance when you need to have more realistic expectations.
You also shouldn’t expect to play hard to get and be popular when it comes to online dating. The men don’t know you and if they approached you is because something caught their attention. If you keep playing hard there is no reason why they would continue pursuing you.
No one knows each other when it comes to online dating. If you start playing hard right from the beginning, you don’t give men the chance to know more about you and your personality and they won’t know there is something to work for.
Online dating is all about the photos and the profile description. This is what you check when you’re searching through the different profiles, and remember that on the other side men are doing just the same.
When you find someone interesting, engage in a conversation and later set up a date is because you saw potential in your partner, but your partner also saw the same in you. He also went through your profile and your conversations and he liked what he saw.
So, be confident! Don’t get shy talking to him or even nervous to go on a date. If you’re communicating is because there is already an interest on both sides. That step is over.
Know when hit the block button
If a guy starts an online conversation by teasing or challenging you, block him right away. That person is not interested in getting to know more about you or your personality. He is either a sad person who needs to troll others to feel better about himself or he is just mean-spirited and is trying to get you to do something you probably don’t want to.
This can look too logical to be in a list of online dating tips, but unfortunately, it happens too many times. These men take advantage of fragilized women looking for a partner to challenge them by sending them naked pictures, for instance, and then use them to shame the woman.
Don’t think of it as a date
A date happens between two people who feel they have some chemistry, like each other, and are probing to see if the relationship can move one.
Even if you enjoy talking online with someone and have been doing it for a while, until you meet face to face you won’t know if the zing is there or not. He might be a sweetheart on your online chat and turn out to be less than polite when treating the waiter serving you, for instance.
To avoid being too nervous and over think every detail on your first encounter in the real world, think of it as a meetup. You are just two people who see some potential in each other, but still need to assess if the feelings are real and if the chemistry is there.
Keep the 90/10 in mind
You will be using the block button a lot when dating online, but it won’t be enough times. The thumb rule goes like this: 90% of the men that will approach you or that you will approach will either be losers or just looking for sex. Only 10% will be worth your time and will fill the requirements for a potential partner.
Put other online dating tips to good use and manage the expectations of what you’re going to find and hit the block button so the ones who are already in the “no” pile won’t bother you anymore.
And, most importantly, don’t be disappointed or think that you may be the problem. Online dating isn’t easy and if this thumb rule exists is because loads of women had experienced it too.
Online dating tips for men
Most online dating tips apply both to men and women, but there are specific situations that gather more or less attention and raise different worries depending on the gender.
Show yourself as you are
With your photo and in your profile, you should describe yourself as you are now. Not what you were, not what you wished you were, but what you are.
You might have been a football star back in college, but do you still have the same physic, stamina and habits as then? If the answer is no, then you will be deceiving your possible partners and you’re in for an awkward first date.
Be as honest as possible, and don’t be afraid that no women will be interested in you. Maybe your deception is what is keeping the one away.
Women like men who are confident, who know what they are doing and give a sense of having everything under control. They feel confident men are reliable and passionate.
Notice that a confident man is different from a pushy or aggressive one. It’s not that you need to know and be sure of what you are doing at all times. Confidence also implies not being afraid to say that you don’t know… but will find out. Be proactive.
Being shy or an introvert is not an excuse. Surely there is something you are passionate and feel confident about. Just find your strong points, guide your conversation in that direction and dazzle her.
Be original when starting the conversation
Ditch the “Hey, what’s up?”. She likely received hundreds of those messages already. Maybe she still has some forgotten and unread in her inbox at this moment.
If you’re really interested in that woman, the way you start the conversation can make it or break it.
Being eloquent and writing in full sentences will give a heads up right away. But if you want her to know that you are interested, you need to show it.
Mention something that you saw in her profile, for instance. It will give you a topic of conversation to dwell in and you will be showing that you read her profile and paid attention to it.
Manage your expectations
Some online dating tips go both ways, and this is one of them.
If you played with the idea of embellishing your profile and choosing an older but more flattering photo of yourself to make you look more attractive and interesting, don’t you think women would think the same?
You can’t assume that everything is a lie or you’ll become a skeptic. And there is really no point in being in an online dating community if you don’t trust anything. However, you should manage and balance your expectations. Base yourself more on the feeling you have from texting the other person and on the general idea of their profile, rather than her looks.
The point of online dating communities is pooling as many people together as possible to increase the chances of a good match. Being rejected is never pleasant, but it’s much better like this.
You’re looking for a partner so you want you two to be a match. Even she is not interested, pushing for it won’t change the situation. Besides, it doesn’t mean that you are the problem. Maybe she didn’t lay all her cards on the table, so she spotted an incompatibility with her own personality and shut your progress down.
The point is: there are millions of women out there and the one for your is still waiting. If she doesn’t reply to your messages, delete the conversation. If she says she is not interested, thank her for the nice chat and leave.
Women are not used to men accepting rejection, they don’t expect that anymore, so maybe being polite and considerate is what will spark their interest.
Online dating tips: no more bad dates
Check out the talk of dating coach Evan Marc Katz below to find practical examples of what you are doing wrong and right when dating online, and how to spot and fix problems so you can find your other half without going through so many bad dates.